My Outlook on Life Changed
My Brush With a Life-Threatening Health Experience Spurred This Change
I knew something wasn’t right.
I was out of breath, shaking and sweating just leaning over the bathtub to wash my hair.
What was going on?
I finally listened to my husband who had been imploring me to go to the ER after I injured my leg. I had been waving it off because to me, it wasn’t a big deal. As a kid, when we would twist or sprain our ankles, my mom would just wrap it up in an ace bandage and call it a day.
That was back in the 80’s-tough love then.
So, that’s what I did. I wrapped my calf up and didn’t think for one second it could lead to dire health issues.
A few weeks prior I had torn my calf so badly that it felt like I was shot and I heard a pop. I fell to the floor and fainted (according to my husband) twice. I remember when I came to, I could taste iron — from the severe deep breathing I must have been doing while out of it.
Because my husband uses a wheelchair, we happened to have an extra one. So, I put myself in one due to the pain in my leg, as I could not even touch it.
That was my second biggest mistake-keeping my leg immobile.
My first mistake was ignoring my husband’s pleas to go to the doctor to have my leg looked at.
I now look back and see it’s because I have never really cared for myself. I’ve always cared about others, but not if anything happened to me.
My health and wellbeing have always come last.
While in the ER waiting room, my Apple Watch gave me an alert that my heart rate was over 100 without any activity. Not surprising to me because I wear it to sleep and the past few nights my resting heart rate was never under 88, when normally it’s around 50.
Just standing up on my good leg to reach something sent my heart into overdrive and I couldn’t breathe.
And- I had continued to ignore the signs of a serious problem building up inside of me.
Within minutes of having a CT scan, the doctor came to me with eyes wide like saucers and told me that I had 2 very large blood clots in both of my lungs. They explained it was so severe they were putting me on a clot-buster immediately, which had risks of bleeding through my gums, brain, nose, etc. I also had to be on oxygen until my oxygen levels were at an acceptable level again.
Great! Sounds really fun right?
I was under close watch while on the clot-busting drip, and the staff was constantly asking me the same questions to make sure I was still “there” and no internal bleeding was going on.
I was eventually transferred to ICU for 3 days and was under close observation. Turned out, my injured leg was full of blood clots from my ankle to my groin.
Yet another sign I missed, as little by little I lost the ability to even flex my foot or turn my ankle. I had chalked it up to a muscle tear, not blood clots.
That never even crossed my mind.
While laying in the hospital bed, I remember how hopeless I felt and also so alone. I realized how worthless I had felt and asked myself why I had let myself get to this point.
The staff kept telling me how lucky I was, and that if I hadn’t come in when I did I could have died. It didn’t really hit me though how serious it was. Because it was me- I just didn’t give it much value. But as I started feeling better and spoke with the cardiologist and so many other doctors there, they made me feel like I did actually matter.
I have to give thanks to the wonderful and caring staff at the hospital-they are all angels and don’t get enough credit.
I had been suffering from depression and had been in a dark place for quite some time. More than usual in the last year due to my husband’s health steadily declining from his MS progression.
While in the hospital I had a nice long talk with God about how I had been treating myself and taking my life for granted. I swore that I would stop living my life the way I had, and to take care of myself.
Every day since, I have kept that promise. And, I feel better for it.
I look at each day as an opportunity and find things to be grateful for.
I make it a point to do some type of exercise every single day, even though I am limited in what I can do with my calf still not completely healed. But it doesn’t matter-I do some type of movement each day as I told God I would not take my physical abilities or health for granted ever again.
I’ve started intermittent fasting, eating healthy raw foods, and reducing (haven’t been able to totally cut it all out yet) my sugar intake.
Its been 7 months since my leg injury and I’m still not 100% better, but I continue to stay positive.
I’ve been on blood thinners since being discharged, and hope that in a few months I can be taken off of them. I’m so paranoid about having a bad fall or even an accident where I could suffer from severe internal bleeding while on them.
I have vowed to never ignore signs that my body is telling me and to not try to be my own doctor if I’m injured ever again.
I no longer push my wellbeing to the bottom of the list.
I know that God spared me for a reason, I just have to figure out what that reason is.
